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National Cashiers Week

There are three types of people who hang out in supermarkets. There’s the obnoxious, rude, complaining, angry, demanding shopper, then the happy shopper, and finally there’s the cashiers…those underpaid public servants who stand behind a counter all day asking for money .

And why do I know this? I’ve been there, done that and have the nervous breakdown to prove it.

When you want to be right about what you do or say, do it or say it to a teller. I learned this in “How to be a cashier and live to tell” school. The first lesson was: the customer is always right. Well, actually, the store manager told me that when I started working at one of our local supermarkets. I think it was one of the ten commandments in the cashier’s handbook.

This is a good rule of thumb… or language. No matter what a customer says, be polite and keep smiling. Sooner or later, they will take their purchase and leave. During the months I was employed there, I developed permanent smile lines on my face. To this day I can be grinning like a possum and still be angry enough to pull the polka dots out of a clown suit.

Sometimes I’d come home from work and look back on my day and realize I’d apologized for everything from the Civil War to the Liberty Bell crack. My face would be sore and my teeth would be jagged from the effort it took to hold my tongue and not offer them cheese and bread to go with them.

Nine shoppers out of ten will be friendly and polite to store employees, then number ten comes along and if you say “How are you today?” they will tell you They’ll talk about how they had to wait in line for five whole minutes while the customer in front of them paid for their purchase with a check. Well, kiss my assets. Not all of us carry cash. They’ll complain about how the merchandise isn’t organized properly in the store, how the store is out of XYZ brand of their favorite product, and how they almost want to shop somewhere else.

You stand there smiling and apologizing and thinking how much you wish they would shop somewhere else.

It wasn’t until later that I realized these people were showing major signs of TAB. (Not to be confused with the old diet soda called Tab.) TAB stands for Type A Behavior. Six of the main symptoms are:

1. Impatience and hostility.

2. Beads of sweat on the forehead

3. Closed teeth

4. The eyelids they remove

5. Dark circles under the eyes

6. Convulsions of the corners of the mouth.

Did I just describe my high school math teacher?

Type A personalities are people who take everything seriously, don’t laugh often, and are always nervous and stressed. These are the type of people who are prone to heart attacks and strokes.

I began to wonder about people with this disposition. What made them so negative and bitter? I don’t think people are born that way. Most babies, if they are dry, fed and loved, are happy babies. I wondered what kind of life they led that made them so miserable.

And then one day something strange happened. I started listening to the things they weren’t saying…really listen, and I was trying to understand why these people seemed to be angry. It wasn’t about the store, the service, or me…it was about them and their personal issues. After talking to them for a minute or so and showing genuine concern, I would usually find out that they had a sick family member, or had been up all night working, or had lost their job, or some other tragedy in their life. .

Of course, that didn’t make me feel any better. I quit my job as a cashier after a few months. It was starting to show signs of TAB.

So, in honor of our brave men and women who have given their sanity for this great nation of shoppers, I’d like to designate this as “Cashier Week.”

And if you have a spouse who works as a cashier, be nice to them when they get home. Chances are, even though they’re smiling, they’ve had a bad day…

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